Mel Robbins
The Surprising Link Between People Pleasing & Your Health: MD’s Recommendation on How to Say “No”
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Does this doctor have the health secret you’ve been looking for? Does people-pleasing really make you sick?
Dr. Neha Sangwan (@Doctorneha is an internal medicine physician, bestselling author, and accomplished researcher.
Today, Mel sits down with Dr. Sangwan to learn the truth about people-pleasing.
Topics discussed include:
People-pleasing: what it is
Are you a “yes” person?
The difference between “going with the flow” and people pleasing
Why avoiding conflict makes you a people-pleaser
What your “childhood blueprint” is and how it shapes adulthood
People pleasing and the link to illness
What your parents did or said to turn you into a people-pleaser
Why people-pleasing is a coping mechanism
Why you can’t deal with other people’s discomfort
How to trace your people pleasing back to a single moment in time
Why being stressed, irritated, and tired is a sign that you are a people-pleaser
Why being a control freak may be a sign of people pleasing
How to unlearn people pleasing
How every conflict in your life traces back to childhood trauma
What happens, from a medical perspective, when you have an unresolved conflict?
The secret reason you’re an overachiever
How to stop your people-pleasing behavior at work and set better boundaries
What it really means when you resent the people you love
Why people-pleasing is a “protection tool” you learn to use in childhood
The link between chronic worry and people pleasing
The simple 3-part framework Dr. Sangwan uses to say “no” when you mean "no"
How 80% of all illnesses are caused by stress
The 5 questions you should ask yourself to understand what your body is really trying to signal to you
You can purchase Dr. Sangwan’s book, ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: https://a.co/d/iaVNwiL
Download a FREE audio chapter from ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: https://intuitiveintelligenceinc.com/mel/
Follow Dr. Sangwan:
Instagram: instagram.com/doctorneha
Webpage: intuitiveintelligenceinc.com
Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast/
I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.
In this episode:
00:00 Intro
03:21 Mel’s jaw hit the floor when she heard this.
03:58 If you struggle with people-pleasing, you are not alone.
04:49 Are you a “yes” person?
06:54 People-pleasing: what is it?
09:07 What your parents did or said to turn you into a people-pleaser
11:58 What your “childhood blueprint” is and how it shapes adulthood
14:14 Why people-pleasing is a coping mechanism
15:52 Why you can’t deal with other people’s discomfort
20:32 The simple 3-part framework Dr. Sangwan uses to say “no” when you mean "no”
24:54 Is everyone on the planet a people-pleaser?
28:37 What are the 2 functions of the brain?
29:48 What it really means when you resent the people you love
33:47 When Dr. Sangwan connected her people-pleasing with overwhelm
36:08 Dr. Sangwan received this shocking diagnosis from an MD.
39:57 The secret reason you’re an overachiever
44:03 How 80% of all illness is caused by stress
45:17 The 5 questions you should ask yourself to understand what your body is really trying to signal to you
47:12 Wow, this might be the root cause of your anxiety.
50:02 How to stop your people-pleasing at work and set better boundaries
#peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #boundaries #childhoodtrauma
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Published Nov 16, 2023
