Mel Robbins
3 Steps To Understanding Your Childhood TRIGGERS And How To Repair Them | The Mel Robbins Podcast
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Today’s conversation is required listening for everyone.
We are going to blow the lid off of #emotional #triggers. Let’s get to the bottom of why you and I react the way we do, and more importantly, learn simple ways to take control of our emotions.
It doesn’t matter where you live, how you grew up, or even if you’re a freakin’ saint to everyone else, I know you have something that triggers you. You have days just like I do when something sets you off and you either snap like a firecracker or withdraw like a turtle in a shell.
And just like me, you say and do things you later regret.
I’ll go first: I’m trying hard to work on the nasty tone of voice I use with Chris and our kids when I feel frustrated or confronted. And it doesn’t end there. If you’re like me, you beat yourself up for getting triggered, and you now start feeling bad and regret what you did (or the fact that you did nothing).
It makes me feel like crap when I do these things. I have felt helpless for a long time because it’s been so automatic when I get triggered emotionally. I don’t want to keep living like this. I’d like to feel calm, peaceful, and more in control.
And that’s what this episode is about.
Wouldn’t you love to get out of this cycle of feeling emotionally triggered? Wouldn’t you love to take control of your emotional life as an adult?
The good news: you can rewire your response to stressful and annoying situations.
And in turn, you’ll bring more happiness, presence, control, and closer relationships into your life, because you’ll be present in them instead of letting your emotions drive you.
So, who is going to teach us about triggers?
I’ve tracked down a psychologist who teaches one of the most popular online workshops about this topic:
The incredible Dr. Becky Kennedy (@goodinside).
She’s the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Good Inside. And do not let the fact that she is a child psychologist and parenting expert keep you from soaking up and applying everything you can learn from her.
No matter how old you are right now, YOU were once a child. And that, my friend, is where your triggers got hardwired inside of you: before you even knew how to talk.
Understanding triggers (and taming them) requires you to go back before you can move forward.
Dr. Becky says, “Your triggers are stories from your past.”
Listen to this episode and really try to absorb what Dr. Becky shares, because the wiring and triggers that frustrate you right now are not permanent.
I know you’re going to send this to every one of your friends who is a parent, and please send it to your kids, nieces, and nephews, too.
Learning how to rewire my response to stress at 54 is amazing. But imagine if you knew how to do this in high school. That’s why I’ve asked our three kids – ages 23, 22, and 17 – to listen too. Sure, it would be nice for us to pass this healing and confidence-building stuff down to every generation, right? If they get this information now, they can rewire themselves faster.
This is really important, life-changing stuff. And I love that it’s also so simple. And you know what else I love? You. Thank you for listening and let me know what you learn.
Xo, Mel
In this episode:
00:00 Intro
05:36 The body and brain wires early, but it is never too late to rewire
06:51 Key Concept: The body you have today, is the one you were born with
11:12 How a child becomes dysregulated
15:37 Key Concept: Our triggers are stories from our past
20:03 Research: Internal Family Systems understanding your protector part
23:28 HOW to repair and rewire emotional triggers
29:03 Tantrums and meltdowns are explosions of desire
30:19 People pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking as women
36:03 Tool: How to locate/understand your triggers
41:23 WHY we collapse behavior into identity
45:35 Concept: The road to reactivity
#parenting #family #relationships
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Published Oct 27, 2022
