Mel Robbins
How Do I Learn to Love Myself, Really? | The Mel Robbins Podcast
Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them.
—
Whatever you're doing right now, stop and make time for this conversation.
Every single day, I get questions from listeners about self-love, self-hatred, and what it actually means to like yourself.
I understand why it’s confusing.
The topic of #selflove is so broad, and there is very little actionable advice on how exactly you learn to like yourself, especially if you’ve spent your whole life being hard on yourself.
So don’t worry, I’ve decided to attack this topic of self-love in a completely unique, surprising, and tactical manner. This is also one of the most personal episodes I’ve released because I’m inviting you to join a conversation I’m having with our 17-year-old son, Oakley.
This is not a “podcast interview.” This is an intimate conversation between a mother and a son about the most important topic you could discuss: self-love.
When Oakley was in middle school, he hated himself, and as his mom, it was awful to see him so lonely and sad. In today’s conversation, he shares things with me about this time in his life that I never knew.
And more importantly, we unpack the moment he had an epiphany that changed everything.
You will absolutely relate to everything he shares and his reflections about it.
I’m so proud to share this conversation with you. You will be blown away because you’ll not only feel like you’re part of our family, but we’re also welcoming you into our hearts.
You will laugh out loud, even though your heart might break a little. And by the end of it, you’ll have not only wisdom, but also a couple of simple tools to help you learn how to like yourself a little more.
This conversation is a must-listen for EVERYONE in your life. And especially for young adults because when they hear these insights from someone their age, it’s way more compelling than getting #advice from an adult.
I do want to be up front about one thing: Oakley is 17 and like most 17-year-olds, whether they do it in front of you or not, he has a case of the F’s, meaning he drops the F-word a fair number of times, and I made a decision to record it as is and allow him to speak freely.
And, I just can’t emphasize enough how much insight this is going to give you into your own relationship with yourself.
I hope you will make the time to spend a half hour with the two of us, because I know you will leave feeling seen, understood, and liking yourself a little better.
I cannot wait to hear what you learn.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Science-backed research around the habit of liking yourself
- Why we beat ourselves up in the first place
- Two powerful epiphanies my son had around his own self-esteem
- The life-changing mantra that you can start repeating to yourself today
- What it looks like to like yourself
- What happens when you start to like yourself
- Two new habits that will train your brain to like who you are, right now
In this episode:
00:00 Intro
02:49 It is never too early or late to start working on self-acceptance…
03:39 Research - being kinder yourself is the biggest indicator of your happiness
09:42 Oakley’s road to self-acceptance, the struggle to love himself
13:46 How small moments of judgment impact self acceptance
16:29 Why Oakley stopped hating how he looked in the mirror
22:24 Oakley’s epiphany: you only go through life with yourself
23:47 The 5 words that will change your life
30:17 Step 1 to loving yourself: Find something small you love about yourself
33:12 Step 2: Name a win each day
35:17 Step 3: Use the High 5 Habit
39:08 Compliment each other, it feels good
40:36 You can only control how you show up for yourself and others
—
Follow Mel:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/
TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins
Website: http://melrobbins.com
—
Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter
A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want.
—
Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1
—
Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday!
https://melrob.co/spotify
https://melrob.co/applepodcasts
https://melrob.co/amazonmusic
—
Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here:
The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe
The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp
The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ
The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah
Published Nov 28, 2022
